It’s strange that I have been so worried about college lately, that it has been such a huge stressor in my life I have my mock peace conference next Tuesday, my thesis due next Wednesday, my Middle East politics paper due the following Tuesday and my Thesis presentation the Wednesday after. Along with finals and exams.
And I’ve also been worrying about the future. I nearly broke down yesterday morning- had a phone call from an agency that I really want to work for. The woman told me that I was high on the recruiting list, but through the interview I lost that place because of the agency’s three year drug-free policy. I’m not an avid user or anything, but I have before. If I had known last year that I had a chance with major federal agencies…
I had all of these things fighting in my head yesterday when I went to class. Willa had chewed up my power cord, so I hadn’t been on my computer since late Sunday night. I turn on my computer during Stats class, surf over to CNN (I do this every day during class…) and saw the front page about the shootings. I didn’t pay attention to stats all day, I don’t think any of us did. I saw that most of the computers around the room were flipped onto similar websites or watching video clips without sound.
It’s strange that I had been thinking about how hard my life is, how the stresses of work and the future were hitting me hard. I guess it all sort of wiped away. I guess this is how it goes, that we remain so self-concerned. So bogged down with out worries. And then something happens to break us back out and realize that we aren’t alone in everything. That our worries are trivial in comparison to these things in the world.