Up until a few months ago I was friends with this group of girls. I originally wrote a whole post detailing the entire relationship with all of them, but it felt awkward. I’ve been wanting to write about it for awhile because the entire situation has made me miserable. I entered my final year of college with some of the greatest friends in the world and never would have expected our relationship to end up like this.

I think there are a myriad of factors contributing to the end. I felt as though I was constantly going out of my way to do things for them (which is how I feel friends should be) without getting the same concern in return. I also felt that they took advantage of the fact that my parents are somewhat lenient about money with me, as I began footing the costs for food, drinks, gas. I also got sick of all the drama and the mundane conversation. Everything became oriented around either drinking or sex, usually drunken sex. Or gossip. Or dieting and being skinny. I remember at one point when a friend and I were discussing the candidates for the 2008 elections and one of the girls specifically told me to shut up.

A major portion of it is my own fault though. Last fall I began dating a guy in our group of friends, one that another friend had previously dated. And swore that she still loved. By the time that he and I broke up, things had shifted with those girls. I couldn’t place a finger on when exactly it happened or what occurred, but I do remember screaming at that fact that all they did now was drink and black out.

I really miss the girls from last year, the ones who would go kayaking and swimming in the river, the ones who would go on long walks and watch movies and have dance parties. I know we all change, and we grow apart. It’s just sad that it had to happen like this.