I decided to drive up and see PK on Saturday. I struggled with whether I wanted to go for awhile, and eventually decided that I don’t often get chances to see him. It was a great relaxing drive up, I got there around two in the afternoon. It felt amazing to be back with him again. We took a long walk along the East River and in Astoria Park.

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We stopped and got pizza on the way back, then got whiskey sour and cosmopolitan mixes. Curled up in bed and napped back at his apartment. We woke up and had drinks and watched episodes of forensic science shows on tv, me curled up in the nook of his arm. I kept thinking that I could really do this, that I could live up there and spend lazy weekends like this.

We decided to go over to the village to see a movie. He bought tickets, I bought popcorn and soda and candy. The movie was amazing, we laughed a lot and I even made him hold my hand. We walked back, watched a few more forensic shows then went to bed. We woke up in the morning, danced around to music as we got dressed.

Everything felt perfect, felt like it fit together. I always wonder why I put up with so much trouble. We have had so many bad times, but it is weekends like where it all makes sense. I really love him, and he knows this. But how do I make this work with the two of us?

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