I am trying so hard not to stress about the PK situation. We had a great time together up in New York, but we haven’t exactly talked since Sunday morning. Normally I wouldn’t be bothered by something like this, but he has this tendency to be really into me and then suddenly lose it.
The thing is, the last time I went up to see him was back in mid to early February, as I mentioned before. We had an amazing time then too, but then he stopped talking to me. And then he said he couldn’t do a relationship. I of course freaked out, came close to crying, and then blocked him from my life. Needless to say, I am a wuss and keep giving him chances. Part of me really hopes that the good part in him wins out, the other part of me really thinks that he is just a schmuck using me. How can I be so unsure of someone I know so well and love so much?
I’m also thinking that this would be really terrible timing on his part to pull his dick and run routine. He’s coming to my graduation this weekend and my parents and family are set on seeing him. My mom, dad, and brother have all met him, but my Oma, aunt, and uncle haven’t yet. I really don’t want to ruin my weekend by explaining that he is there, but that we broke up less than a week after I went to visit him. How do I explain to my Oma that I am a fool?
Was speaking to my good friend FaveDave about all of this. He is always rather keen on these situations and knows me really well. He said that people spend their lifetimes trying to feel the way that I feel for PK. But he also said that he did not want to see me hurt again, and that I should just have fun in the meantime. I am sick of hearing PK give excuses as to why he couldn’t answer a phone, or why he couldn’t respond to an email. I understand that he’s busy at work, that he hates phones and all, but we live 200 miles away. But I need something, need a call, need an email to believe that I’m really not crazy.
Please do not let me have been fooled again.