I know it’s terribly contrived, but you know that saying about having your cake and eating it too? Well dammit, I want that.

The thing is, the new guy and I are catching on like chicken pox at the daycare center (yes, I said it). We’re not quite at the “what are we” phase yet (though we did have have the precursor to it the other night), but we’re getting to it.

The other side of it is that I still talk to PK on a regular basis. And obviously, by talk I mean argue. But I can’t get him our of my head and out of my system. I feel like Carrie when she has Aiden, but is obviously still into Mr. Big. In fact, that pop-culture reference is perfect.

The new guy is completely an Aiden- he’s sweet, caring, fantastically adorable. He’s all around nice. He’s laid-back, intelligent- I could go on and on. And PK? He’s my Big. We have that undeniable chemistry that makes me come back to him over and over again. But still with that half-sleazy, half-sexy way about him. And he’s kind of a jerk. But I love him despite that fact.

Regardless of how perfect that that comparison is, I know I’m going to get to that breaking point soon. I’m either going to end up with another of PK and my break-offs, where we don’t talk to each other for weeks, or I’m going to end up cheating on the new guy with PK in a sleazy hotel while smoking cigarettes together, and then telling Meredith not to judge.

You know, without the cheating bit. Or cigarettes.