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I’ve wanted to post for a very long time, I swear. Actually, there’s a list of things that I’ve wanted to write about including the fact that I graduated with my Masters last week, the fact that I recently got national recognition from the company that I work for regarding the cases I’ve pulled lately, or this cocktail party that my girlfriends and I are having later this week.
But some other stuff came up.
I’m used to getting nasty comments on here. I get it: I groan about relationships for the majority of this website. After the post I wrote about my friend Chris dying, I received a comment that said he deserved to die, that god gave him leukemia for a reason. That hurt. But one of the latest ones that I got was “I think this whole thing could have been chopped down into a few short statements: Caitlyn meets Perfect Guy. Caitlyn falls for Perfect Guy, finds out he has girlfriend. Caitlyn tries to ignore, becomes obsessed. Rejection ensues.”
You’re absolutely right. It could have been summed up in that. And not to compare myself to brilliant pieces of art, but Lolita could be chopped down to “pervy old man lusts after/falls in love with his step-daughter. Has sex with her, goes to jail”. Any goddamn story can be chopped down to the basics. And then they’re no longer stories, they’re just cheap imitation summaries.
The other night I was driving along with one of my girlfriends delivering the invitations to our cocktail party. Somehow blogs came up, something about how our good friend has one. She kept talking about how cool they were, how she wanted one. “I have one too,” I told her, and showed her the link on my Blackberry. Her response… seemed really fake. I’ve known the girl for years, I can tell when she’s lying and when she’s faking. I just knew that she’d known beforehand, but that she wanted me to think she hadn’t. I played along, told her the things I loved about blogging: the ability to vent, the support you get from other bloggers, the weird connection you have to them. I email almost daily with one blogger, and caught up with friends I haven’t talked to in years on here.
To “chop things down”, as that commenter so kindly put it, I found out that two of my closest friends had had a conversation regarding my blog a bit ago. The entire thing was dripping with sarcasm, about how they could have a psuedo-political, overly emotional blog too but they’d have to fake it like I do.
That conversation was between two of my closest friends.
I guess that there are several points here, the first being that I never saw myself coming across like that here. I’ve liked having a semi-anonymous place to vent and sort out thoughts. Do I really come across like that, so overly emotional and fake?
The second part is the fact that two close friends said that. I have the option of covering a surveillance this Friday night, the night I took off to host this cocktail party with them. And really, the former is looking like a lot more fun than the latter right now.